I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
