I need help removing her.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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