4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
