The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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