Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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