We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
