Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
