Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
