I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
