but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
