I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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