Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
