So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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