today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
