Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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