I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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