Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
