Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
