I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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