She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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