id be glad to
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Someone shattered a urinal.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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