In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
