Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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