We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
