Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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