Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize