yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
