Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
