Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
