If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
