a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
