They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
