When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
