Whatcha textin bout Willis?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
