??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
