Jerry, you need to find god
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
