do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
