Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
