Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
