I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
