i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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