But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
