My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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