ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
