My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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