have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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