U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
home. puking in laundry basket.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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