Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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