Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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