my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
