sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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