I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
