you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
