i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
