Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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