You made me cry and you don't even care
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
