Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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