Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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