I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
This is my gift to your gina
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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