I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
