I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize